


If Found, Volume Three - Now [Ver. Hybrid]

by Himi (greighish)



Series: If Found [7]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-29 03:57:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6358084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greighish/pseuds/Himi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not too long after his birthday, Kise was moved to a rehabilitation center. It was mid autumn when he finally returned to his place on Kohama. He was still in recovery and knew he would be for some time before he would regain his previous levels of health and strength. But knowing didn't make things easier. Even still, with the support of his friends and family, he made progress. All was relatively well until winter began making way for spring.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Once Upon a Time

**Author's Note:**

> ***I'M IN THE PROCESS OF REFORMATTING THIS INTO PROSE; IT'S TEDIOUS, SO IT WILL TAKE SOME TIME.***  
> My apologies. Thanx for your support and your patience.
> 
> If Found is a 4-volume story. Each volume will be a separate part in this series. The story, **Volume One** , in particular, is told in reference to three points in time:
> 
>   * the past - Before (the letter)
>   * the letter
>   * the present - After (the letter)
> 

> 
> Each volume will be posted all at once.

## Leave Me Alone

_Kiyoshi hung up the phone; he had been speaking to Kise. Kagami slammed half a bottle of Black Nikka on the bar top. It was the end of a bad day and he didn't think it could get any worse until Kise refused to speak to him again._

> **Kiyoshi** : You break it, you bought it.

_Kagami muttered something under his breath, pulled out his phone and scrolled to the most recent entry of Kise in his call history._

> **Kiyoshi** : You're not helping your case at all.
> 
> **Kagami** : What the hell am I supposed to do?! He won't talk to me!
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : That's your fault. I told you. Kuroko told you. Aomine told you.

_Kagami dropped his head. He couldn't get around it. He kept the letter from Kise and he was paying the price._

> **Kagami** : How can I apologize if he won't talk to me?
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Maybe he doesn't want an apology.
> 
> **Kagami** : Then what? How can I fix it? What do I need to do?
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Do what he asked you to. Leave him alone.
> 
> **Kagami** : Wh--

_Kiyoshi held his hand up._

> **Kiyoshi** : I already know what you're going to say, but it's been close to a year, man. He's gotten better. No more black outs. His appetite returned. He's walking on his own. And don't forget, he has a nurse on call.
> 
> **Kagami** : Then why do _you_ still go there? The inn is pretty much done.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : I like it there. Plus, he's my friend; if he asks for my help, I'm gonna to give it to him.
> 
> **Kagami** : But--
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : You need to let it go.
> 
> **Kagami** : How can I?! I think, even before he found out about the letter he was already done with me... What did I do wrong then?

_Kiyoshi sealed the deposit envelope and tossed it on the back shelf. He looked at Kagami. He felt sorry for him, but then again, not really. He hoisted himself up on the bar and let his legs dangle._

> **Kiyoshi** : It was too much for him. If he was still in the hospital and his doctor saw how you were with him, you definitely would have been banned again. You made it too hard for him.
> 
> **Kagami** : Hard?! How did I?! I did everything I could to make things easier for him!
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : You treated him like he was incapable of taking care of himself.
> 
> **Kagami** : But, he was!
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : For a while, yeah, but he was in recovery, meaning he was working towards getting better--he wasn't permanently disabled. By doing so much for him, you made his physical recovery harder than it needed to be. Let's not even talk about his mental recovery... You really set him back when you acted like you withheld the letter out of concern for him. Like you pitied him or something. No one wants to be pitied by the person they love.
> 
> **Kagami** : I don't pity him! I wanted to help him! And-- And...he doesn't love me--not the way you keep saying it; he's gone from keeping me at a distance to straight up pushing me away.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Weren't you the one creating the distance?

_Kagami opened his mouth to retort, but thought better of it._

> **Kiyoshi** : Anyway, there's a difference between what you were doing and helping. You were basically suffocating him and no matter what he said, you always acted like you knew better. And you were devoted to him, you acted like he was your world. And...that's great and all, but what you were doing--the way you were doing it--it wasn't what he wanted.
> 
> **Kagami** : But I can't give him what he wants.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Then you have no choice but to respect the boundaries he's setup.
> 
> **Kagami** : But I--
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : See that? That's one of your problems, right there. It's not about _you_. I don't know if it's fear, stubbornness, or if you really do not believe in relationships, but regardless of your reason, you don't know the first thing about them. The space you want to take up in Kise's life and the type of accountability you want to have with each other is on a level most people reserve for the person they give their heart to.
> 
> **Kagami** : That makes no sense. If I'm doing all the stuff he wants, why is he refusing me?
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Dense as ever.

_He folded his arms across his chest._

> **Kiyoshi** : It's because you don't want it in the same way he does. If he let you go on, he'd still be in an unrequited love and getting no benefits.
> 
> **Kagami** : Benefits?
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : It's like asking him to change his phone plan and rather than paying less or getting better perks, he loses the privilege of future upgrades and gets nothing but hassle from customer service when he tries to change his plan or leave.
> 
> **Kagami** : Future upgrades...? What?

_Kiyoshi threw his head back in disbelief. A woefully labored sigh escaped him._

> **Kiyoshi** : Your stupidity is wearing me out.
> 
> **Kagami** : What the hell?!
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : SEX! Sex, dammit! Sex and physical intimacy.
> 
> **Kagami** : How do you know that?! Is that what he told you?!
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : He didn't have to tell me, it's obvious that sex is part of the relationship plan he wants to sign up for. Really, you're probably the only one who hasn't figured it out. Or refuses to.

_In fact, it was a door Kagami had_ _refused to open time and time again, but he was feeling like soon he wouldn't have a choice._

> **Kiyoshi** : ...Look, I've got a text asking me to help keep you away. Personally, I don't mind, but I think it would work out better for you if you did it on your own. So, do as he asked and leave him alone. Unless you're finally going to admit that you're in love with him and that you want to be with him the way he wants, just leave him alone. Use this time to think about what you're really doing here. If you keep going on like this, one day you'll be so far gone that there won't be anything to come back to.

_And like that, though not with full consent, three months passed before Kagami spoke to Kise again._

* * *

_Kise stared at the cursor blinking in the white text field. It was going on five hours since Momoi asked if she and Aomine could throw him a birthday party and if it was alright to invite Kagami. Technically, Kise hadn't forgiven Aomine yet, but he wasn't exactly upset with him anymore either. So the party sounded like a good way to get things somewhere near normal with him. But Kagami coming was a whole other deal. Kise didn't hate Kagami, but he didn't know how to deal him the way things were. And every time he heard his voice, he was reminded of the argument they had when he found out about the letter._

**\--- --- ---**

_Kagami slid the door to Kise's place to the side, kicking off his flip flops before stepping in. He saw Kise and Aomine standing in the archway that lead to the bedroom. Kagami called out a greeting. No one answered._

> **Kagami** : Everything alright in there?

_Kagami made his way towards them. Aomine acknowledged him first. He was still advancing when Kise turned furious eyes on him. Kagami stopped cold._

> **Kise** : You!

_Kise charged Kagami, moving faster than he could maneuver his cane, brandishing his tablet. If Aomine hadn't grabbed him, he might've impaled Kagami, or at least knocked him back a few steps. Kise immediately realized that all of those quick and tense movements weren't such a good idea, but he'd deal with that later._

> **Kise** : What the hell is this?!

_Kagami stepped back as he tried to focus._

> **Kagami** : What the hell is what?

_Kise pointed at the screen of his tablet which he held up close to Kagami's face._

> **Kise** : This! What the hell is this?!

_Kagami caught Kise's hand to steady the tablet and pull it away from his face so that he could see it. When he registered what was on the screen, he dropped his hands and his eyes darted to Aomine._

> **Kagami** : What the the hell, man?!

_Kise stepped deeper into Kagami's personal space._

> **Kise** : Hey! I'm the one talking to you!

_Kagami's attention quickly turned back to Kise whose eyes were wet with anger._

> **Kagami** : Kise...
> 
> **Kise** : Why didn't you tell me about this?!
> 
> **Kagami** : I didn't--
> 
> **Kise** : How could you keep this from me?!
> 
> **Kagami** : Kise, I'm sorry...
> 
> **Kise** : You can shove your fuckin' 'sorry'! You knew! You see how much I struggle remembering things. You know how hard I've been trying to...to know who I was...

_Kise started to turn away, then Kagami reached out to him, but he dropped his hand when Kise jerked back and tensed in frustration. He pushed Aomine to the side as he made his way to his bedroom. From the archway, he tossed his tablet on the bed. Kagami and Aomine looked on, at a loss for what to do next. Kise pressed his face into his free hand, his breath shook as he exhaled._

> **Kise** : I want to know, right now.

_Kise's cane pounded the floor in time with his demand. He remained with his back to them._

> **Kagami** : Kise...I'm sorry, I just didn't want to complicate things.

_Both Kagami and Aomine jumped when Kise spun to face Kagami._

> **Kise** : Complicate what? I didn't just _see_ that!

_Aomine leaned back to escape the arc of Kise's wild swing as he pointed behind him in the direction of his tablet._

> **Kise** : I _read_ it! Over and fucking over...
> 
> **Kagami** : With everything going on now, I thought that it would be better if you didn't have to deal with that too. I mean, you seemed like you were dealing with a lot when you wrote it.
> 
> **Kise** : Bullshit! I just told you I read it! What is _that_ supposed to complicate?

_He pointed again._

> **Kise** : All it tells me is that I was in love with you.
> 
> **Kagami** : I thought that you might not want to deal with that when--
> 
> **Kise** : Who are you?!

_Kise stepped closer to Kagami._

> **Kise** : Who the hell are you to decide what I can and can't handle? I am so sick of you! You come here and you--you make yourself a part of me, but you keep me at arm's length. Day in and day out--you visit or you call and you're just...always here for me... And I was fa--

_He didn't want to say it; he didn't want to make it real._

> **Kise** : And yet, all this time you've been withholding a part of my life from me? Who gave you the right?! Why in the world would you even think keeping it from me would--

_Kise stopped, his words cut short by a thought that demanded his attention at that very moment. He swung around towards the small dining area to his right where Aomine stood quietly--half wanting to disappear. His hand found its way to cover his mouth as he turned the thought over in his head. He searched Aomine's eyes for confirmation. He didn't find anything so finite, but Aomine's look of "Oh, shit, this is about to get worst, isn't it" was enough._

_Kagami watched Kise, wanting to apologize, but afraid to say anything. He flinched when Kise's hands fell to his side in fists._

_Kise turned again, this time towards Kagami. He took a few steps forward, but stopped quickly and turned back and then back again. He was confused. No. His mind was clear, but his whole being was teeming with bitterness and resentment. He wanted to speak, calmly, but he felt like if he opened his mouth he wouldn't be able to stop himself from yelling or crying. He took a deep breath, rocked back on his heels and tried to speak, but rather than words spoken calmly or otherwise, a impassioned laugh was let loose._

_Kise was surprised and exhausted and everything hurt. He tried to catch his breath as his free hand reached behind him to find the back of the sofa. His body relaxed into its aches as he sat on the sturdy frame. With his hands atop the curved handle, Kise steadied his cane between his legs; he bowed his head and rested his forehead against his hands which were now trembling since they were no longer balled into fists._

> **Kise** : It--

_He coughed. After a few deep breaths, Kise raised his head and tried to reconfirm what he had chanced to see in Aomine's eyes. A calm set about him and he was sure he could do it this time. He turned to study Kagami._

> **Kise** : It wasn't about me, was it? _You_ were the one who didn't want to remember.
> 
> **Kagami** : ...
> 
> **Kise** : Why? Was it such terrible thing?
> 
> **Kagami** : I never thought that!
> 
> **Kise** : No? That's not why you've been so close, but so weirdly distant all this time?
> 
> **Kagami** : Of course not!
> 
> **Kise** : Then why?
> 
> **Kagami** : I just... I can't do that kind of thing and I didn't want things to go the way they did last time. I didn't want you to disappear on me again.

_Kise sighed._

> **Kise** : You don't-- I'm sorry. You _can't_ be with me but you don't want me to leave you?

_He snickered._

> **Kise** : I guess some things haven't changed. I'm as much of an idiot now as I was then, it seems.
> 
> **Kagami** : Wha--
> 
> **Kise** : Gotta be to fall in love with you twice.

_Despite his flippant tone, it hurt Kise deeply to say that out loud. Meanwhile, Kagami couldn't speak; it was exactly what he didn't want, what he tried desperately to avoid. Kise leaned forward and pulled his phone out of his back pocket. His frustration grew as he tried to get his hand to cooperate. He had a shit grip and limited dexterity and though you'd think that a touchscreen keypad would help, Kise's coordination was still a bit off, so it all just ended up being exasperating. He wanted to throw his phone, but it would be the fourth one since his discharge. The first one was an accident, but the other two... One met with a wall and the other was lobbed long over the water. His mother and Aomine both urged him to use the voice recognition feature, but he refused to. He was determined to recover his fine motor skills, even if it killed him--or another phone. He finally managed to find his way to what he was looking for._ "1 contact and all of their linked contacts will be deleted." _Kise tapped with the underside of his thumb. He took a breath and turned to Aomine._

> **Kise** : Go home.

_Kise rose unsteadily, ambled his way through his bedroom to the door leading to the shore, and stopped._

> **Kise** : And take that selfish bastard with you.

_Kise slid the side door aside and walked out. He sat on the engawa, made great efforts to tap out a text, and wondered if he should just cry, because it felt like it had been forever since the last time._

_Kagami moved to go after Kise, but was stopped when Aomine placed his whole body in front of him._

> **Aomine** : Yo! Leave it for now.

_Kagami tried to move past Aomine._

> **Aomine** : I said leave it! You wanna upset him even more?!
> 
> **Kagami** : How could you do that to me, man?!
> 
> **Aomine** : Don't even...

_Aomine was nonplussed about the situation he found himself in. Being forced to side between friends knowing both action and inaction could cost him--had already cost him. He didn't side with Kise because they had history or because he thought Kagami was completely in the wrong. He came clean because he saw the path Kise's actions would likely lead him down and he didn't think it was fair that he journeyed unprepared. He was already at a disadvantage--being interested in Kagami--so Aomine felt it was only right to help even the playing field as best he could._

> **Aomine** : He asked me if you were dating anyone.
> 
> **Kagami** : Why?
> 
> **Aomine** : You fuckin' doorknob! What do you mean?! You heard him, right? Or were you still too busy trying to avoid the topic? His fucking poor taste has lead him to fall in love with you. Again!
> 
> **Kagami** : This is what I was trying to avoid! I didn't want it to be like this!
> 
> **Aomine** : No fuckin' way! I told you time and time again! You should have been the one to tell him! And soon! But you didn't. This is your fault. You were only trying to avoid dealing with it, you fuckin' coward.

_Kagami tried to slip by again._

> **Kagami** : Whatever, man. I gotta fix this.

_Aomine blocked him again. They were evenly matched._

_Truth be told, the letter did complicate things, but not in the way Kagami meant. The letter broke a dam somewhere in Kise's mind. Forgotten memories and missing pieces emptied into his consciousness--it was like a thousand domino reactions going off at once. When he left out, he didn't slide the door closed, so he could still hear them, past and present mingled, but he was mostly tuning them out. However, the sound of furniture scraping across his floor made him tune back in._

_Kise jabbed his cane in Kagami's side, which caused Kagami to coil and interrupted the swing he was about to take._

> **Kise** : I thought I told you to leave.

_Kagami whipped around._

> **Kagami** : Kise...

_Now that Kagami was distracted, it was easier for Aomine to push him off. Kagami rolled onto the floor with a thud, but soon got to his feet._

> **Kagami** : Kise, I'm sorry. H-How can I...fix this?

_Kise looked up at Kagami, genuinely puzzled._

> **Kise** : Fix what?
> 
> **Kagami** : I made you mad. I'm sorry.

_Kise's confusion quickly morphed into bitter curiosity._

> **Kise** : Fix. What?
> 
> **Kagami** : ...Things between us.
> 
> **Kise** : And what's between us?
> 
> **Kagami** : ...
> 
> **Kise** : Yeah, that sounds about right.
> 
> **Kagami** : We're friends.
> 
> **Kise** : Your first answer was closer to the truth.
> 
> **Kise** : I'm sorry. I felt bad that I didn't realize how you felt back then. And worse because you didn't feel like you could tell me.
> 
> **Kise** : What was I supposed to tell you? "Oh, I know you're repulsed by the idea of romance, but I'm in love with you"? I mean, that's right, isn't it?
> 
> **Kagami** : I'm not...repulsed, I'm just not into it and...there's more to it than that.
> 
> **Kise** : Well, you can stop worrying your pretty little head. I promise I won't confess to you. And just to make it easier on both of us, how about we just end...whatever this is? Sound good to you? Good, good. Now that we got that all sorted out...

_Kagami reached out for Kise who was turning away from him, but Aomine grabbed his arm._

> **Aomine** : Come on, man. Leave it for now.

_Kagami yanked his arm away and paid no mind to Aomine._

> **Kagami** : Are you saying that we can't even be friends?

_Kise stopped, but didn't turn around. He wanted to say that that was exactly what he meant._

> **Kise** : I...don't know. I can't think right now. And being around you when I still haven't figured things out is more than I can deal with.
> 
> **Kagami** : What can I do?
> 
> **Kise** : ...Leave me alone.
> 
> **Kagami** : Ki--
> 
> **Kise** : Please! I can't deal with you right now! ...Just...just go home.

**\--- --- ---**

_If he couldn't get past that, Kise knew he'd never get past anything. Even now pieces of his past were still missing. Reading the letter, Kise had been overwhelmed with emotions he didn't know what to do with. It was both familiar and foreign. He could remember feeling those feelings, but most of the days and months and years that created them? He was at a loss. What had Kagami said or done that was so appealing, so incredible, so much of_ something _that he fell in love with him and fell so hard? Now, though, he was overbearing, hardheaded, and stubborn. And yet, Kise somehow managed to fall in love with him again._

_Kise wondered if he himself was so different now that he wouldn't feel the urge to flee when things got too hard to bear. Having at least three hours between them was probably for the best, but was that enough? Was it okay? Should there be more? Less? Should he just cut him off once and for all? Kise lost count of how many times he'd had this conversation with himself, but his half-empty bottle of naproxen sodium bore witness to the number of headaches that train of thought had induced._

_Would talking to Kagami help? Maybe. Maybe not. But there were some answers he'd never get if he only talked to himself. Kise woke his phone and was greeted by the blinking cursor accompanied by no more text than it was the last time he looked at it. He replied to Momoi in the affirmative on both counts._

## Come When I Call

_Rather than room separately, the party-goers--Momoi, Aomine, Kiyoshi, Kuroko, Murasakibara, and Kasamastu--who were free to stay the whole weekend, reserved one of the intermediate quarters that dotted the property. The elevated structure sat atop a hill overlooking Kise's place, thus sharing the same beautiful view. The main celebration wasn't going to kick off until Saturday night, so those who had arrived Friday afternoon were able to experience the five-star hospitality the onsen prided itself on._

_Kise looked over the group. Momoi seemed to be holding court while Kiyoshi and Aomine took in the view from the engawa. He stooped behind them, draping his arms over their shoulders in a decidedly purposeful manner._

> **Kise** : We seem to be missing someone.

_He glanced at Aomine._

> **Kise** : Is he coming tomorrow?

_Aomine nodded in Kiyoshi's direction._

> **Aomine** : Ask him.

_Kise leaned into Kiyoshi._

> **Kise** : Where is that pain in the ass?
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : He's not coming.

_Kise's face contorted in disbelief as he looked at Aomine again._

> **Kise** : Did you tell him I said it was okay?
> 
> **Aomine** : I did.
> 
> **Kise** : Have you two made up yet?
> 
> **Momoi** : No, they haven't.

_Aomine, Kise, and Kiyoshi turned to acknowledge her. Kise stood up._

> **Kise** : Can someone call him?
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : He's not budging. Maybe if you called him.
> 
> **Kise** : ...I can't.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : He'd definitely give in if you invited him personally.
> 
> **Kise** : ...I can't call him...I deleted his number.

_Momoi, Aomine and Kiyoshi stared at Kise, now weighed down by the true gravity of the situation._

> **Kise** : So, whose call won't he ignore?

_Aomine, Momoi, and Kiyoshi, in their own ways, indicated Kuroko._

> **Kise** : Right.

_He went back into the common area where Kuroko, Murasakibara, and Kasamatsu were showing off pictures of their kids on their phones. Kuroko of the canine variety, Murasakibara of the confection variety, and Kasumatsu of the human kind._

> **Kise** : Kuroko...kun...?

_Kise paused for a second, the address feeling unnatural on his tongue. Kuroko looked up._

> **Kuroko** : Kise-kun?
> 
> **Kise** : ...That's not right, is it?

_He knelt beside Kuroko._

> **Kise** : What do I call you?
> 
> **Kuroko** : "Kurokocchi."
> 
> **Kise** : Really? Ugh, that's such a mouthful. I'll call you Kuroko. That's fine, right?

_Even though he had regained a great deal of his memories, Kise often had to be reminded of some things. One of which was this--he couldn't seem to keep straight how he had addressed everyone, so he'd gotten in the habit of simply bypassing any kind of address and would just talking to people when he couldn't remember. On occasion, if it seemed like it mattered at that moment, he'd ask. Kuroko gave Kise a slight nod, his expression failing to give away that it was the fifth time they had the same exact conversation._

> **Kise** : Alright, then, Kuroko, I need your phone.

_Kuroko, seemingly in an indulgent mood, handed his phone over without question or protest. Kise took the phone and placed it on the low table in front of them. He flexed his fingers in preparation to swipe and tap his way to a conversation he didn't actually want to have. He attempted to straighten his index finger to swipe but it wouldn't go on its own._

> **Kise** : Actually...

_He slid the phone closer to Kuroko and then balled his hands into fists in his lap._

> **Kise** : Can you call Kagami for me?

_Upon hearing Kise say Kagami's name, Kuroko wondered how many times he'd had the name conversation with him. Kuroko swiped to his phone app and tapped Kagami's speed dial. Kise smiled and then grimaced when he saw Kagami's profile picture appear. Kuroko handed the phone to Kise._

> **Kagami** : Yeah?
> 
> **Kise** : Since you seem to require a personal invitation, consider this it.
> 
> **Kagami** : Kise?
> 
> **Kise** : If I don't see you here by tomorrow morning, I'll never forgive you.

_Kise managed to end the call with the side of his thumb. He handed the phone back to Kuroko and threw a word of appreciation over his shoulder as he marched back to the engawa._

> **Momoi** : So, is he coming?
> 
> **Kiyoshi** / **Aomine** : He is now.

## Half the Battle

_Instead of charging ahead with might, Kagami backed off just like Kise wanted, just like Kiyoshi suggested. He didn't always heed his advice, but Kiyoshi had never steered him wrong. The second half of his suggestion was just as difficult as the first. Thinking things through had never been Kagami's forte. He knew he was hotheaded and impulsive and even though it got him into more trouble than he cared to admit, he'd never stopped to really think about what his actions were doing to or for the people around him. He wasn't always the blind bull in the china shop, but the times he considered the consequences of his actions beyond the moment were few and far between. Later though, and only later, he would think back on this time and understand just that much more how terrible he'd been to Kise._

_How had he gotten here? Kagami had already had five years to think, but he was clueless and hurt back then, so it didn't actually count. Now he knew things. Whether he wanted to or not was a different story. But knowing what he knew and being told by Kise--not by way of an empty room, not by way of a letter, but in person, in Kise's own voice--that he didn't want to be around him... It hurt so much more than not knowing. So, in those few months during which he'd had no contact with him and only the facts of the situation to keep him company, he made the best of it and pulled himself apart._

_Holding on to a conviction he'd formed in his naive youth had done him no favors. Never entertaining other possibilities had kept him distant and inexperienced. Now, he was paying for it. He was at odds with many of the people closest to him all because he was exactly what Aomine called him: a fuckin' coward. He knew if he continued to hold on that he really would be too far gone. And even though it was hard and he was scared--though he had yet to figure out, or rather, remember why--he tried, in earnest, to see things differently instead of being stubborn and close-minded, he tried to take things as they came instead of viewing everything with a one-size fits-all slant._

_It was hard and he was scared--being vulnerable never seemed worth it; from his parents he only understood the pain--but he fought through it. Well, it was more like he didn't resist. It was no less scary and he didn't exactly happen upon a wealth of conclusions, but one thing he did come to understand was that he'd never know for himself unless he tried. If he just did that, he would have already won half the battle._

_Five hours after his one way conversation with Kise and calling Kiyoshi to get his flight reservation exchange code, Kagami touched down in Okinawa. If he had ignored the initial invitation and the event had passed without incident, he had been prepared to continue digging into the mess that he was. Of course he wanted to see Kise, but having not exactly completed his period of introspection, he wasn't sure how seeing Kise would affect the state he was in. He was anxious to see what Kise had to say about it, but he'd also come to the conclusion that if he only went on what Kise said, it wouldn't mean much, because it wouldn't be the same as understanding for himself._

_On the other hand, when he told Kiyoshi briefly about his apprehensions, as a nudge of encouragement, Kiyoshi said that Kise saying that he would never forgive him meant that he, on some level, had the intention to. Because of that, Kagami felt that staying back would likely kill any chance, so he disembarked, sure of very little, hopeful of even less._


	2. Time, Lost and Found

## Dissimilitude

_When Kagami arrived, Kasamatsu, who had brought his guitar, and Kise were entertaining the others. It took a while to place, but when Kise slowly crooned "sha-la-laaa, I sing for you" he realized they'd turned Veltpunch's "Crawl" into a languid ballad. Weird. The room acknowledged his entrance with a mix of proper greetings and teasing remarks--all things he was used to from most of the people present. Unsure of what to do he picked a spot next to Kuroko and settled in. When he looked up, Kise had just turned his way. Should he wave? Smile? Nod? He'd just settled on nodding when the corner of Kise's mouth curled up into a wink._

_He smiled. It was mostly nervous, but Kise seemed to either not notice or not mind. Kagami thought that is was a very Kise thing to do. But not the Kise now. It was something the Kise he shared a place with in LA would have done. It unsettled him; for all the thinking he'd done, not much was spent considering how to interact with the Kise from before. Having only come to the realization now, he feared that the last few months of contemplation would all be for nothing. What little hope he'd had was pretty much gone now._

_A few more pop tunes turned into syrup and nearly everyone was singing along, getting a kick out of sounding like dying winos. Shortly before the end of the last song, one of the attendants knocked to alert them that the pavilion was ready. It was still relatively light out, but the lanterns along the path had been lit. The usually unpleasant rapeseed oil odor that was the downside of using traditional lanterns was almost undetectable above the early blooming sagaribana. In ones and twos, the group tread the path until they met the partially sunken pavilion. Before them lay a not so modest spread of sunui, rafuti, soukini, and hira yachii. Heaping bowls of chanpuru, yaeyama kamaboko, and beni-imo chips also graced the table and there was so much more. The attendant stood to the side and guided everyone in._

_Momoi took everything in. She noticed a bottle of something likely alcoholic in front of every place setting. She nudged Aomine._

> **Momoi** : Don't get carried away Dai-chan.

_Aomine looked down at her, unsure of what she was getting at. Momoi gestured toward the bottles._

> **Momoi** : Just because you have a bottle to yourself, doesn't mean you have to finish it by yourself.
> 
> **Aomine** : It's just one bottle.
> 
> **Momoi** : True, but along with the last drop goes your ability to limit yourself.
> 
> **Aomine** : I'll be fine.
> 
> **Momoi** : You say that now, but the only one here who can carry you back to your room is Kagami-kun and you guys haven't spoken in months.
> 
> **Aomine** : I can handle my drink. Besides...

_He pointed at Murasakibara who was already shoving a handful of beni-imo chips in his mouth._

> **Aomine** : He's here.

_Momoi snorted in such away that it could only be taken as ridicule._

> **Momoi** : He hasn't changed in all these years, just as lazy as ever. He won't be paying you any mind.
> 
> **Aomine** : Then, Kiyoshi.

_Kiyoshi scooted past them on his way to the other side of the table._

> **Kiyoshi** : Probably not.

_Momoi giggled._

> **Momoi** : Looks like you're on your own, Dai-chan.
> 
> **Aomine** : That's messed up, man. Anyway, like I said, I'll be fine.

_Everyone found a seat and settled in. The conversations were lively, but everyone instinctively steered clear of topics that could dampen the mood. Halfway through, most of the bottles were nearly empty and some people had already started on their second, but Kise's remained untouched. Kagami did join in, but he was mostly quiet. After a bottle and a half of what turned out to be awamori, he went to the main building to relieve himself. As he was returning, he saw someone waving at him from the direction he was headed._

> **Obaa-chan** : Taiga-chan! Taiga-chan! It's so good to see you!

_Kagami jogged toward her._

> **Kagami** : Obaa-chan, how are you?
> 
> **Obaa-chan** : Good, good. Enough about me though, I haven't seen you in so long.

_Obaa-chan slipped her arm into Kagami's and nudged him ever so escort her back to the main building. Kagami didn't resist._

> **Kagami** : Yeah... I... I've been working.
> 
> **Obaa-chan** : Ryou-chan is so happy to have you here!
> 
> **Kagami** : Well, I think it's been a while since he's had so many people from back home visit, so...
> 
> **Obaa-chan** : Oh that may be so, but it's you he's happiest about.
> 
> **Kagami** : I...uh...
> 
> **Obaa-chan** : Well, you're the one who has his heart. And it seems like he's got yours, too.
> 
> **Kagami** : Et-- Ut-- Wha... I-It's-- We're not like that.
> 
> **Obaa-chan** : Is that so? I guess these old eyes of mine are starting to see things that aren't there.

_Kagami looked down at her._

> **Kagami** : R-Really, it's not.

_Obaa-chan squeezed his arm._

> **Obaa-chan** : Oh, don't worry about that none. I was surprised with you both being so handsome and all, I wouldn't believe that you weren't courting two or three young ladies. But you can't help who you love; you can only help what you do about it.

_She tipped her head towards the figure on the engawa on the left side of the main building; they seemed to be awaiting her arrival._

> **Obaa-chan** : We were almost disowned, but he refused to take over this place unless his family accepted me. He was the youngest, but the only son and all his sisters had already been married off into families elsewhere.

_She giggled._

> **Obaa-chan** : They didn't have much choice. He could have married into my family and done pretty well for himself. My family's full of farmers and he's a hard worker... But they hushed up and let us be.

_Kagami stayed mum. She patted Kagami's arm as they reached the front of the building._

> **Obaa-chan** : Go on 'round the side and talk to him a minute. I'm gonna go up through here.

_Kagami went left to talk to Ojii-chan and she went up the 3-stair entrance._

> **Ojii-chan** : You! Where've you been?! That boy's been so quiet. I'd rather hear you two have it out on the hour than have him all hushed up like that.

_Kagami tried not to think about the meaning of their words._

> **Kagami** : I've been working.

_Ojii-chan peered down at Kagami over his glasses._

> **Ojii-chan** : Work, you say?
> 
> **Kagami** : ...Yeah.

_He sat down about a meter from where Ojii-chan was standing._

> **Kagami** : You don't seem like you'll be leaving us any time soon.

_Ojii-chan howled and nearly doubled over._

> **Ojii-chan** : Look at this kid! You're damn right! Don't have to worry about me. I ain't going nowhere!

_Kagami smiled. Kiyoshi wasn't the only one who'd gotten close to the onsen's proprietors. They had a way of making everyone feel like family._

> **Ojii-chan** : Wait there a second.

_Ojii-chan pointed at Kagami and shuffled off. When he came back he offered Kagami a glass of shikuwasa, a sour juice that Kagami always hesitated to drink. Kagami stared._

> **Ojii-chan** : I didn't forget. I sweetened it for you. You should be more like Ryou-chan; he drinks it straight. And that faces he makes after, like somebody pulled his tongue from the inside!

_Kagami accepted the glass._

> **Kagami** : No thank you, I'm not into suffering.

_Ojii-chan stepped away after he was called by someone in the kitchen. Kagami idly sipped his juice and waited._

> **Kise** : Is this where you got off to?

_Kagami was caught off guard and choked a little as he swallowed the last gulp. He cough and pounded his chest to clear his throat._

> **Kagami** : H-Hey.

_Kise sat down about an arm's length away from Kagami who was rolling the glass between his palms to channel his nerves._

> **Kise** : Glad you could make it.
> 
> **Kagami** : I was...compelled.

_Kise snickered and Kagami almost smiled._

> **Kise** : It's been a while.

_Kagami tucked his lips and nodded in agreement. He found it hard to look at Kise._

> **Kise** : How have you been?
> 
> **Kagami** : I've been f--

_Kagami stopped himself. Even if Kise was just making small talk, he didn't want to just brush things aside. Not anymore._

> **Kagami** : If I've ever felt worse, I don't remember it.

_Kise's eyebrows raised as his eyes opened wide; he wasn't expecting that. Sure Kagami was known for his straightforward honesty, usually bordering on tactless, but this was different. There was a vulnerability about it that Kise had never seen from him._

> **Kagami** : I miss you.

_It was almost too much for Kise._

> **Kagami** : I'm sorry I was such a jerk to you and I'm sorry I lied.
> 
> **Kise** : L-Lied?
> 
> **Kagami** : Aomine says "by omission."
> 
> **Kise** : Hm.
> 
> **Kagami** : Do you...hate me?

_Kise could not contain his laughter. It was sudden and intense and his tears streamed. Kagami, somewhat shocked, finally turned to Kise and just watched him convulse. Still, he was largely unfazed as he had already resigned himself to take whatever Kise threw at him. Kise started coughing which forced him to pull it together._

> **Kise** : I--

_The last of his laughter fell out in short bursts of giggles and sighs. Kagami returned his focus to the glass in his hands. A final sigh and Kise was ready to answer._

> **Kise** : I...don't. I guess things would be easier if I did. I am angry, though.
> 
> **Kagami** : I'm sorry. I was being selfish and a...uh...coward.

_Kise pulled his legs up on the landing and folded them in a half-lotus. He took a breath, then leaned back, supporting himself with his hands behind him._

> **Kise** : There's still this big, like, foggy spot about my-- our life in LA. You talked about my work and high school, but I still don't know what we were to each other. From the letter...I get that I was in love with you and that you didn't return my feelings, but I have no idea what our day to day relationship was like. Or even why I was living with you. And it really pisses me off that you're the only one who knows and you haven't told me.

_Kagami's shoulders sank a little._

> **Kise** : You have been there for me since before I even knew, but why?
> 
> **Kagami** : ...It's-- Well, it was complicated.
> 
> **Kise** : "Was," huh? And it's not anymore?
> 
> **Kagami** : Things...change.
> 
> **Kise** : From what I can remember and what I was told, my relationship with Aomine was one where we would do anything for each other. I feel like we were and could be again, best friends. Even with the Swiss cheese I got for a memory, there's something between me and him that seems...unbreakable. But I felt something different with you...rather, from you. Yet, you've had this wall between us.
> 
> **Kagami** : Sorry...
> 
> **Kise** : What were we that you would devote so much time to me but still remain so distant?
> 
> **Kagami** : I'm sorry.
> 
> **Kise** : What are you sorry for, though? That I'm upset? That your were close, but closed off? What?
> 
> **Kagami** : I guess, all of that, too, but...

_Kagami cleared his throat and his voice went gruff, but quiet._

> **Kagami** : ...I didn't know what to do. I still don't. I didn't know you saw me that way when we lived together. When you left I was at a complete loss. I didn't know if I'd done something, or if you'd done something. And you told me not to look for you. I feared the worst and was out of mind trying to figure out why you would go that route. And then I just started feeling like I might have not known you at all. That was just in the first hour. Then, I had to tell your mom and Aomine that you left and I had no idea where you went. I got so much shit from them, but I couldn't even begin to deal with it because I was still clueless; I hadn't even gotten mad yet.

_Kise listened and realized that he never truly considered what Kagami went through all those years not knowing. It didn't really occur to him that Kagami would have been hurt by anything from the past, maybe irritated, but not hurt. It didn't change that he withheld information, but it made Kise see that it was going to be difficult to come to an understanding when neither one of them knew both sides of the story. That was something that had to be dealt with if they were ever going to be friends...again. He'd already made peace with that being shape of things to come. He wasn't over him, but holding out for things that would never come seemed like a terrible waste of time. It was for the best...for more reasons than one, or so he made himself believe._

> **Kagami** : But what I'm sorry for is that you don't know that. You don't know and you may never remember or truly understand what our life was like or what you felt the need to hide from me all that time. I was afraid that if you remembered why you left, you'd leave again or not want anything to do with me. I was--

_Kagami cleared his throat again._

> **Kagami** : I was afraid that if even if you didn't leave, things would only be awkward between us. I realize you don't remember that my history with relationships wasn't really, uh...a good one, but even though you didn't agree with how I dealt with it, you understood it with out me having to spell it out for you. I don't know where to start...with anything.
> 
> **Kise** : ...I see.

_And he did. Kise knew that Kagami was not good at expressing himself, at least not without getting frustrated. Yet another disadvantage. He could see that, with the mountain of explanations needed to bring about parity in their understanding, Kagami would probably lose it. Add to that his expressed fears and Kise could truly see the obstacles in Kagami's way. How many other things did he miss? What else slipped by him? Not knowing was its own kind of fear, and not knowing what he had known before was the worst._

> **Kagami** : But most of all, I'm sorry that you had to fall in love with someone like me who didn't trust or understand things like that...and who it has taken this long to realize that he...

_Kagami cleared his throat and turned, hoping to catch Kise's eye._

> **Kagami** : ...That I'm...in love with you, too.

## Endless Celebration

_In the middle of July, Kise visited the mainland for the first time since before he moved to LA. He would have stayed with his family, but his mother moved out of his childhood home and into a one bedroom luxury apartment and he didn't want to be fussed over at either of his sisters' places. So, Kasamatsu invited him to stay at his place for a while. If he wasn't going on tour, he would've let Kise stay for the duration of his visit, but since Kise still had occasional dizzy spells, Kasamatsu did not want to leave him alone. Kise said he'd be fine, but he wouldn't hear of it. Kasamatsu got in touch with Aomine and Kiyoshi to see what he should do and Kiyoshi volunteered his place. Kise didn't like being treated like a child, but he liked the idea of traumatizing someone if something happened to him and he was found too late even less, so he agreed and went to the bar to work it out with Kiyoshi._

_Kise sat across the bar from Kiyoshi as he prepped the lemons, limes, and yuzu._

> **Kise** : Senpai is the one who wants this, but I don't think it's a good idea.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Where you gonna go then?
> 
> **Kise** : I can get a room for a few weeks.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Not by yourself. And it's stupid to pay all that money when you can just stay with me.
> 
> **Kise** : But... It's going to be _awkward_.

_Kise's voice fell into a whisper on the last word._

> **Kiyoshi** : No more than it is now.

_Kise let his elbows slide out, left then right, and slouched on the bar._

> **Kiyoshi** : You're here until...
> 
> **Kise** : December-ish.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Right, so, he's going to be gone for a bit. To LA to visit his folks...

_Kise looked up, surprised. Kiyoshi checked the calendar app on the register's screen._

> **Kiyoshi** : Kasamatsu said he was was hittin' the road first week of October, right?
> 
> **Kise** : ...Yeah.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Cool, so that's about the time Kagami's leaving, too, so it works out.
> 
> **Kise** : Welllll...

_Rather than feeling relieved, Kise was disappointed. Yeah, it would have been awkward being around Kagami after he'd all but dismissed his confession, but--and he knew it was selfish--him not being around at all was far from what he wanted._

> **Kise** : ...Tell me if I get in the way.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Even if you do, the invitation will stand.
> 
> **Kise** : That's not really an answer.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : That wasn't really a question.
> 
> **Kise** : _Ki_ yoshi-saaaan...

* * *

_Kise had become an early bird and generally made his way to the bar right before they opened to, as Kiyoshi suggested, help out to keep himself busy. He stayed away from the breakables, though, and kept to sweeping and wiping down surfaces._

_Since Kagami usually closed, he and Kise scarcely set eyes upon each other. Before he left, there were a bunch of celebrations, but mainly his birthday and Aomine's to deal with. They had sort of made up just by being around each other, but no real words were exchanged about their interrupted fight. He wanted to apologize to Aomine, but he knew Aomine would just get mad act like he was digging up things long buried._

_Kagami didn't want a birthday party and told everyone to save up their energy for Aomine's. Himuro was disappointed because it would be the first time in a while that he was able to be in Japan to celebrate it; he managed to get Kagami to agree to just hang out at the bar after hours. Since Kagami's birthday was on a Saturday, the regular crew gathered a couple hours before closing on Friday night to start the celebration. Here was a group of people in their late-thirties playing games like Truth or Dare, Yamanote Sen, Pin Pon Pan, and Ousama._

_Ousama was the third game they played. Thanks to Kiyoshi's Ousama command and Aomine, who had been convinced by Kiyoshi to give out the same one when he picked the Ousama stick in the following round, that game ended with Kise sitting on Kagami's lap. Most of the party was half smashed by then, so even though those were the last rounds, it took them some time to move on to Yamanote Sen._

_Kiyoshi was the strongest drinker among them and was always looked to to keep everyone in line, safe, and generally entertained._

> **Kiyoshi** : Kagami, you can sit this one out. You, too, Kise.

_Kise, who'd only seen four in the morning  half asleep on his way to the bathroom, made himself comfortable against Kagami's chest and mumbled some vague acknowledgement. Kagami, for his part, was sober enough to understand what was going on, but too drunk to freak out over it. He had a feeling he'd surely regret it later. A few giggles and moans of agreement rippled through the group, but Ogiwara, who was still pretty clear-headed as the second strongest drinker, didn't get it._

> **Ogiwara** : I get Kise-kun, but why does Kagami get a pass?

_Riko, remembering a few past incidents burst into laughter. Ogiwara eyed her, his curiosity heightened._

> **Aomine** : _The Birthday Boy_...

_Aomine stared accusingly at Kagami._

> **Aomine** : ...Is notoriously bad at Yamanote Sen because he only knows the stops by how many of them there are from one landmark to another.
> 
> **Himuro** : He couldn't name them if you paid him.
> 
> **Kagami** : Nuh unh, I know Tokyo, Ueno, and there's like one or 40 that begin with shhh!

_The bar filled with drunken laughter and Momoi and Riko lapsed into giggle fits. Even Furihata, the drunkest of the bunch, wasn't too far gone too laugh._

> **Aomine** : You see, he's guaranteed to lose, so he's no fun.

_Once the laughter died out, everyone else carried on and left Kagami to look after Kise the lightweight. Kise stirred and opened his eyes._

> **Kise** : Kagamicchi?

_Oh, the regret came early. Kagami willed himself limp. He actually hated being called that, but it was from a time for which Kise's recollection was muddled and elusive, so the connection moved him somehow._

> **Kagami** : Y-Yeah...?
> 
> **Kise** : I have to pee.

_Kagami felt oddly relieved. Although Kise knew his way around the bar, he was out of it, so Kagami spoke to him as he would someone visiting for the first time._

> **Kagami** : Second doorway, down the hall, second door on your right.

_Kise stretched up off of Kagami, but his balance didn't follow, so he fell back. Kagami sighed. His head began to clear as his caretaker instincts kicked in. He stood up with Kise gathered to him in one arm. He took worried notice of how thin he was._

> **Kagami** : Can you walk?
> 
> **Kise** : Mmmmmaybe?

_Kagami turned Kise forward, took hold of his shoulders, and guided him through the labyrinth of tables to the bathroom. He stopped at the door._

> **Kagami** : It's on you from here.

_Kise rested his arm on the post of the door and peered over his shoulder at Kagami as if he was trying to remember something._

> **Kise** : Oh... I have to pee.

_Kagami rolled his eyes._

> **Kagami** : When did you become such a lightweight?

_Kise walked into the bathroom. The stall doors seemed like too much of a hassle, so he turned to the urinals. Kagami leaned against the wall outside, wanting to leave, but not wanting to leave Kise on his own._

> **Kise** : How was I before?
> 
> **Kagami** : It would have taken you twice as much, at least.

_Kagami was tense; this was their first casual conversation about their shared past, the first one that didn't start with yelling. On the other hand, it was weird to talk to someone while they were..._

> **Kise** : I think this might be the first time I've had a drink.
> 
> **Kagami** : Since...?
> 
> **Kise** : Yeah...I think so.

_Kagami was in a bit of a fog thinking about that, but snapped out of it when he heard the faucet run. Kise came out and looked at Kagami in the same way. Kagami briefly studied Kise's face, now he seemed more sober than drunk. Kise hummed as he walked past._

> **Kise** : I remember seeing you naked.
> 
> **Kagami** : What?!
> 
> **Kise** : Kiyoshi-san said that you were going to visit your parents soon. What time is it?
> 
> **Kagami** : Huh?!

_When they reached the archway that led back into the bar, Kise spun around to face Kagami. Kagami just missed colliding into him by a hair._

> **Kise** : Are you going to see your parents?
> 
> **Kagami** : Can you stick to one thing?!
> 
> **Kise** : Huh? I was just asking about your parents.

_Kagami couldn't tell if Kise was doing it on purpose or not. Kise's eyes gave away nothing._

> **Kagami** : ...Yeah, in a month or so.

_Kise wanted to ask if he could go; they were still in a weird place with each other and it would be weird for Kagami to just show up at his parents' place with an uninvited guest, so he didn't. Besides, that was some weeks off--who knew what would happen in the interim? His eyes flitted about before they connected with Kagami's gaze. When he heard a voice coming from behind him, he didn't know how long he'd been staring. He turned his head toward the voice._

> **Kise** : H...uh?
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Are you guys just going to stand there all--

_He put his hands up to brake his approach._

> **Kiyoshi** : Whoa, am I interrupting?

_Kise followed Kiyoshi's line of sight to his hand on Kagami's chest. He snatched it away and held it to his own._

> **Kise** : Oh, I, uh, I'm sorry.

_He saw what might have been fear or shock in Kagami's eyes. When Kise turned to face Kiyoshi, he moved his hand to lace with the other behind him and plastered on a "please forget what you saw" smile._

> **Kise** : Did you need something?

_Kiyoshi looked from Kagami--who he thought looked like he was having a silent breakdown--to Kise, back to Kagami--who he was now sure was quietly falling apart. He attempted to run interference._

> **Kiyoshi** : Oh, I just need to talk to Kagami for a sec.
> 
> **Kise** : Oh, okay, I'll leave you to it, then.

_As soon as Kise was out of earshot, Kagami exhaled like his life depended on it. Kiyoshi's words were almost a mumble through his barely parted lips._

> **Kiyoshi** : What did I just walk in on?

_Kagami turned back down the hall and paced in frustration, mussing his hair with every step. His words were strained in his clenched jaw._

> **Kagami** : The hell if I know!
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : What were guys talking about?
> 
> **Kagami** : ...
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Well?
> 
> **Kagami** : ...My parents.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : About...?
> 
> **Kagami** : No, not that, we've bare spoken about the past. It was about me visiting them.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : What do you mean you've barely spoken about the past?
> 
> **Kagami** : We haven't. Every time we get near it, we get interrupted or things get awkward.

_Kiyoshi glanced to make sure Kise was still out of range._

> **Kiyoshi** : What about before the letter?

_Kagami gave Kiyoshi a knowing look._

> **Kiyoshi** : Right, well, that was your fault.
> 
> **Kagami** : I know that! But now it's... I don't know, it's like he wants to, but he doesn't.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Eh?
> 
> **Kagami** : I...confessed to him when we were in Kohama.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : You did what?!

_A few heads turned their way. Kiyoshi slung his arm around Kagami's shoulders and marched him down the hall and into the stairwell that led to the upper apartments. He turned Kagami around and sat him down on the steps like he was posing a doll._

> **Kiyoshi** : You wanna run that by me again?
> 
> **Kagami** : I told him that I was-- am in love with him.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : And?
> 
> **Kagami** : Nothing. I don't know if he was going to say anything, but before he could, Obaa-chan came out and that's when we came back with the sata andagi. And the rest of the weekend was...
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : When exactly did you come to this conclusion?
> 
> **Kagami** : At the airport.

_Kiyoshi folded his arms across his chest and looked down at Kagami wondering if he should hit him now or later._

> **Kiyoshi** : So...you just decide at the airport that you're going to fuck with his head some more?
> 
> **Kagami** : Fuck with his-- Hell no! You told me to think about what I was doing! I thought and I fucking thought and I nearly thought myself insane!

_Kiyoshi reached out towards Kagami, not intending to touch him, just to tame some of his anger._

> **Kiyoshi** : Whoa! I'm sorry. Okay? You just have a habit of jumping into things... I'm sorry.

_Kagami clasped his hands over the back of his head and pulled it into his chest as he regulated his breathing._

> **Kiyoshi** : So, you love him... Well, congrats on that, but you got a shitload of stuff to make up for. What are you going to do now?
> 
> **Kagami** : What _can_ I do?
> 
> **Aomine** : You can bring yo ass back out here. Cuz, last time I checked, the party was for you.

_Kiyoshi leaned out of the stairwell and found Aomine posted against the wall._

> **Kiyoshi** : Eavesdropping, are we?

_Aomine caught Kiyoshi in his periphery._

> **Kiyoshi** : How much did you hear?
> 
> **Aomine** : I heard enough.

_He turned and poked his head into the stairwell._

> **Aomine** : If you do fuck with his head, we gonna pick up where we left off a few months ago.

_Kagami stood up to jump at Aomine, but froze when he heard Kise's voice._

> **Kise** : Are you fighting for my honor?

_Aomine pulled back out of the stairwell and Kiyoshi leaned out again._

> **Kiyoshi** : You eavesdropping, too?
> 
> **Kise** : What can I say? I'm up on the latest trends.
> 
> **Aomine** : I wasn't...
> 
> **Kise** : Sure sounded like it.
> 
> **Aomine** : I was just...
> 
> **Kise** : Whatever you were doing, I don't need it. Whatever fucking he does with my head is between him and me.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : So, I guess a 3-way is out?
> 
> **Kise** : Kiyoshi-san!

_The sound of Kiyoshi and Aomine's laughter shook the walls. If there was more light in the stairwell, they'd be able to see how deep Kagami's blush went, but as it was, he was hidden in the shadow, embarrassed, regardless. Definitely the strangest birthday Kagami's ever had._

## A Silent Spark

_Everything was faster. People talked faster, walked faster, and the days went by faster. Now that he was in the thick of it, Kise realized that life in Tokyo--in any metropolitan area, for that matter--was not something he missed. He could probably get used to it again, but it wasn't something he'd ever prefer over the carefree, I've-got-all-the-time-in-the-world-to-breathe day to day life on Kohama. The weeks passed as he busied himself at the bar and helping out at his eldest sister's PR firm. The bar was easier. People came to eat, drink, and relax. No grandstanding, no pretenses. His sister's firm was nothing but. And everything that she was involved in was full of pomp and circumstance. Even something as simple as renewing his passport--"just in case" is what she said--turned into a big production. How he lived in this world before, he didn't think he'd ever understand. But, if nothing else, it was all an interesting change from days spent doing nothing but therapy and reading. Reading, he enjoyed of course, but when it seemed like the only world he knew, it wasn't as much fun. There was a difference between being lost in a good book and simply being lost._

_Kise stepped in as Mitobe held open the back door for him. It was usually Kiyoshi, so he was a bit surprised._

> **Kise** : Morning. Is it just you and me prepping?

_Mitobe tilted his head ever so slightly to the left with a soft jerk. Somehow, Kise understood._

> **Kise** : Someone else is here?

_Mitobe nodded in the direction of the bar. Kise walked down the hall and came to a sudden stop when he stepped through the archway._

> **Kise** : Kobori-senpai...?
> 
> **Kobori** : Oh, Kise-kun, it's been a while.

_Kobori Kouji was just as Kise remembered. There was a strength about him that you wouldn't know existed unless you saw him on the court. A quiet determination. A reliable presence. Kise was suddenly overwhelmed; other than Kasumatsu, Moriyama, and Nakamura, he hadn't seen or even thought about anyone else from his high school team. A pillar of silence penetrated his reminiscence and he remembered that Mitobe was there behind him._

> **Kise** : Oh! Sorry.

_He moved further into the bar and stood for a moment before he decided to take a seat at the bar next to Kobori._

> **Kobori** : It's nice to be remembered.
> 
> **Kise** : I can guarantee that it's even nicer to be the one remembering.
> 
> **Kobori** : You're the same as ever.
> 
> **Kise** : I wonder about that.

_Kiyoshi wrapped up the quartered and sliced limes and cleaned his knife before moving onto the yuzu._

> **Kiyoshi** : What do you want to do today?

_Kise rubbed his eye like a sleepy child._

> **Kise** : Um...

_Kiyoshi wiped off his hands and reached across the bar to grab Kise by his chin. He turned it this way and that._

> **Kiyoshi** : You look like you need more sleep.
> 
> **Kise** : I think I've slept enough. But never mind that. You two are friends?

_Kobori raised his brow and gently bobbed his head in acknowledgement. Kiyoshi let go of Kise and nodded too._

> **Kiyoshi** : Yeah, but it's really him.

_Kiyoshi gestured with his elbow towards Mitobe._

> **Kise** : Eh?

_He swiveled in his chair._

> **Kise** : You know each other?!

_Mitobe paused from taking down the chairs to smile a sliver of something Kise had no problem grasping._

> **Kise** : Oh! You _know_ each other!

_He swung back around to face Kobori._

> **Kise** : When did this happen?!

_Kobori stood up, grabbed his Keys off the bar, and looked at Mitobe._

> **Kobori** : Ten years?

_He looked at Mitobe who made no movements even to the discernible eye._

> **Kobori** : Yeah, ten.
> 
> **Kise** : OhMyGod! Where was I?!

_Everyone just stared at him._

> **Kise** : Ha! Right...

_He turned back to Mitobe._

> **Kise** : ...But what about KogayYEOWCH!

_He palmed the back of this head and turn to Kiyoshi._

> **Kise** : What was that--

_His words caught in his throat, thwarted by Kiyoshi's stare. Kobori eyed them curiously._

> **Kobori** : Well, I gotta go. Kiyoshi, let us know as soon as possible.

_Kiyoshi glanced at Kise._

> **Kiyoshi** : I'm sure I can work something out by December.
> 
> **Kobori** : Cool.

_Both Kobori and Mitobe moved toward the archway and then walked to the back door. Kise watched them go as he nursed the soreness at the back of his head._

> **Kise** : No, seriously...

_He turned back to Kiyoshi._

> **Kise** : What's up with Koga-san?

_Kiyoshi dropped his head and sighed._

> **Kiyoshi** : They're just friends.
> 
> **Kise** : Yeah? And so are Kuroko and Ogiwara-kun.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Koga had--
> 
> **Kise** : Had?
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : According to him, yes, but he's supposed to be over it now.

_Kise's mouth turned down as he rested his chin in his hand._

> **Kise** : ...How unfortunate.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : It can't be helped.
> 
> **Kise** : I guess... Well, I'll finish taking down the chairs while he sees him off.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Thanks.

_Halfway trough his task, a light bulb when off in his head and Kise whirled around back towards the bar._

> **Kise** : Oh! Do they live together?
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Yeah, why?
> 
> **Kise** : Can you imagine how quiet their place must be?!

_Kiyoshi stifled his laugh as Mitobe walked back in. Mitobe, none the wiser, saw Kise taking over his duty, so he hitched his thumb over his shoulder to let Kiyoshi know he was going to start prep work in the kitchen._


	3. A Matter of Time

## Small Fires

_Every time he turned around, there was some reason to celebrate. This night was for Kobori's birthday, and in a few days would be Kasamatsu's farewell. His band's initial five-week gig turned into a eight-month world tour opening for BECR's reunion, so a simple "see you later" wouldn't be enough. After Aomine's party, Kise thought that he'd had enough partying to last him another few years. But he still made an appearance at every subsequent one, always in Kiyoshi's company. At the parties, Kise spent most of his time watching Kagami fail at socializing with strangers. The times that held his attention the most were when Riko couldn't make it and Kagami had to fend for himself while he was hit on right and left. She often posed as Kagami's date simply to help keep his suitors at bay because he was either tactless or hopeless when dealing with them, no in between. It annoyed Kise how popular Kagami was._

> **Kiyoshi** : You stare him down at every party, but you all but ignore him at the bar. Why?

_The parties always ran late and Kise was just not built for the night life anymore, so he always ended up huddled up next to Kiyoshi--for comfort and protection. Comfort because, although most of the people around were his friends, Kise found that he was not as relaxed as he thought he should be, but that being close to Kiyoshi seemed to negate that anxiety. And protection because, aside from Kagami's, the first two parties he fell asleep at, he woke up to find that he had been used as a game board of sorts. No one messed with him during the party he stuck by Kiyoshi all night, so he was determined to keep it that way. Kise moved in closer as he sensed sleep on the horizon._

> **Kise** : It's not like he talks to me either.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : You are such a brat. You know you have the upper hand. You're fine with him one minute and then you start sending him these "stay away from me vibes" the next. You can't expect him to just pull up a chair and start talking.

_Kise sulkily folded his arms across his chest._

> **Kise** : He would have before.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : "Before"? Before when?
> 
> **Kise** : ...Just...before...
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Have you guys even had a full conversation yet?
> 
> **Kise** : We talk at the staff meetings and that one time we went to the bank. There was his birthday party, too.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : So that's a "no"?
> 
> **Kise** : ...
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : You guys need to talk. It was different when he was still clueless and probably did nothing but frustrate you, but he's progressed so far as to confess to you.
> 
> **Kise** : ...
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : It's pissing you off that there are people crawling all over him, but you're all up under me, being a dick to him for no reason.
> 
> **Kise** : It's not for no reason.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : So, you don't deny you're being a dick?
> 
> **Kise** : It's weird, okay?!

_Kiyoshi glanced at Kise out the corner of his eye._

> **Kiyoshi** : Don't yell at me. How is it weird?
> 
> **Kise** : He wasn't like this before or even way before. I may not remember everything, but I do know that he was never this...this...docile.

_Kise shook as Kiyoshi laughed._

> **Kiyoshi** : You know, that's your fault. That boy was nothing but energetic, clueless, and hotheaded, but you didn't respond well to that, so he was forced to change if you were ever going to give him the time of day again. Now look at him. And you're complaining.
> 
> **Kise** : Well, yeah, but...

_Kise gestured towards Kagami who looked like a dejected puppy even though he was being fawned over._

> **Kise** : ...what is _that_?
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : _That_ , is your fault. You two have been dancing around each other since you got here and you haven't had one meaningful conversation. He confessed to you and, as far as I know, you haven't given him any kind of response.
> 
> **Kise** : What am I supposed to say to that?
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Now you're just playing dumb.
> 
> **Aomine** : No, he's not playing; he's the real deal.

_Kise and Kiyoshi looked up at Aomine who had decided to join their party of two._

> **Kise** : Oh, shut up! You don't even know what we're talking about!
> 
> **Aomine** : Let me guess. He called you dumb because you and the chick magnet over there keep acting like you don't know each other.

_Kise leaned in closer to Kiyoshi._

> **Kise** : Nobody asked you!
> 
> **Aomine** : Anyway, I know you guys are friends, but why are you always clinging to Kiyoshi. Shouldn't you be over there swattin' away the flies that keep buzzing around him?
> 
> **Kise** : It's safe here.

_Kise cut his eyes to Aomine._

> **Kise** : And he's not my man, so I don't have the right to say anything about who he talks to or who talks to him.
> 
> **Aomine** : But you're angry anyway.
> 
> **Kise** : Who's angry?
> 
> **Aomine** : Come on, Kise...it's written all over your face. I'm sure if that doorknob over there even dared to look at you, he'd see it too.

_Kise sat up with a start._

> **Kise** : It's not...

_He touched his face, trying to feel out his expression._

> **Kise** : on my face...is it?

_Kise turned to Kiyoshi who tweaked his nose._

> **Kiyoshi** : Oh, but it is.
> 
> **Aomine** : You, stop being cute with him!

_Kise jumped up as he tried to subdue the hissy fit that was aching to come out. It didn't matter, though, his voice still vibrated from the suppressed tantrum._

> **Kise** : I'm going to the bathroom and then I want to go home.

_Kiyoshi snickered as Kise stomped away._

> **Kiyoshi** : But they're so cute when they're all out of sorts. I can't help it.
> 
> **Aomine** : "They"? Wha-- You're--

_He looked over at Kagami who had finally cast his resentment in their direction._

> **Aomine** : You're doing it on purpose, aren't you?
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Look at the time. He'll be back any second; I should get ready to go.

_Aomine didn't know what to make of Kiyoshi. True, he seemed to be at the center of just about every bit of progress Kise and Kagami made, but was his way of stoking these little fires the best way?_

* * *

_One of the rare days Kise closed was finally over and he was sitting on the bar top as he addressed and sealed the deposit bags--out of the way as Kiyoshi mopped. After emptying the bucket and wringing the mop, Kiyoshi did one last run with a damp cloth across every bar surface and stopped when he reached Kise._

> **Kiyoshi** : Move it.
> 
> **Kise** : Can't you see I'm working here? Besides, is the floor even dry?
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : It's been dry. Do it standing up.
> 
> **Kise** : _Oh_ , Kiyoshi-san~
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Save that for someone else.
> 
> **Kise** : Tsch...
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : I want to finish this so we can _goooo_.
> 
> **Kise** : We're _go_ ing to the bank, so we can't _go_ until I finish this. I only have reg 1 and reg 3 left.

_Kiyoshi tossed the cloth on the back counter and wedged himself in between Kise's legs and leaned in._

> **Kiyoshi** : "Only"? Don't say it like you counted down 20 registers and you _only_ have two left. We only _have_ three.
> 
> **Kise** : It doesn't change the fact that I only have reg 1 and 3 left.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Come onnnn, you're so slooooow.
> 
> **Kise** : Well, you leaning on my lap isn't helping. What's wrong with you today, Kiyoshi-san? You're so...whiny...
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : My friends can't seem to get their shit together and it's really bring me down.

_Kise put the last sealed bag to the side. Ignoring the not so subtle complaint, he ran his fingers through Kiyoshi's hair._

> **Kise** : Kiyoshi-san, have you ever grown your hair out?
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Oh, so we're just ignoring things now?
> 
> **Kise** : Who's ignoring what? You just told me about some random friends of yours, what do you want me to say?
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Denial is set to full blast, I see.
> 
> **Kise** : ...I don't want to talk about it.

_Kagami came into the bar from the back. His stride hesitated at the sight of Kise and Kiyoshi. Unmoved, they looked at him. Then, Kiyoshi looked at Kagami's hand._

> **Kiyoshi** : What you got there?

_Kagami rolled his eyes and mumbled something about them almost being out of deposit bags as he tossed a bundle of them on the back counter and turned back to head upstairs to his place. Kiyoshi nodded his head in the direction of the closing door._

> **Kiyoshi** : Aren't you tired of that?
> 
> **Kise** : "That"?
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : You're not even mad at him anymore. Why can't you guys settle this?

_Kise squeezed Kiyoshi's face._

> **Kise** : What's there to settle?

_Kiyoshi took Kise's hands in his._

> **Kiyoshi** : You know, he asked about us.
> 
> **Kise** : "Us"?
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : He thinks there's something going on.

_Kise chuckled and hugged Kiyoshi to his chest._

> **Kise** : When you keep doing stuff like this, anyone would think so. You don't even hide it, so you're not helping.

_Kiyoshi wasn't trying to help in that way. He wanted to spark something in Kagami who seemed to have lost his fire, but he wasn't going to say that._

> **Kiyoshi** : Well...

_But he wasn't going to lie either. Kiyoshi hugged Kise's waist tightly._

> **Kiyoshi** : Even though you're as skinny as a rail--

_Kise flinched and tried not to frown as Kiyoshi stopped to look at him. He knew he was nowhere near as built and fit as he used to be and he had sort of come to terms with that, but it still bothered him when people pointed it out. When nothing else happened, Kiyoshi went on._

> **Kiyoshi** : ...You're warm and you always smell good. And you never stop me.
> 
> **Kise** : Because it doesn't matter. Neither one of us is dating anyone, so it's not like we're cheating. I like it and you smell good, too. What is it today, sandalwood?
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : If you were actually dating someone, I wouldn't even think of doing this, no matter how much it didn't matter. ...Unless...
> 
> **Kise** : "Unless"?

_Kiyoshi sniffed himself._

> **Kiyoshi** : Yeah, sandalwood.
> 
> **Kise** : Unless what?

_Kiyoshi stood up._

> **Kiyoshi** : ...Unless I was the one you were dating.

_Kise's left brow hiked up while the right one furrowed as he digested Kiyoshi's words._

> **Kiyoshi** : Would you?
> 
> **Kise** : Where did that come from?
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Would you?
> 
> **Kise** : You can't be serious...
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Can't I?
> 
> **Kise** : Kiyoshi-san, you're great and all--I really mean that--but I'm--
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : "Still holding out for Kagami"?

_Kise twisted his lips in consideration._

> **Kise** : No. There's no point in waiting for something that will never happen.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : He's already said that he was in love with you. What else are you waiting for?
> 
> **Kise** : His attitude about the whole thing...it has to change.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : You never know, he might come around.
> 
> **Kise** : I don't want anyone to "come around." I don't want anyone warming up to the idea of being with me; that's just depressing.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : So, why not me?
> 
> **Kise** : ...I'm not waiting for him, but I'm...still in love with him, so...
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : So, you're just going to be alone the rest of your life?
> 
> **Kise** : Ugh! I hope not! But I feel like I need to deal with him and our disaster of a friendship before I can consider anyone else. I don't know how, though. There's such a weird distance between us and I get headaches when I think of how to bridge that gap. Moreover, I don't think it's even possible to properly address our relationship until I'm over him. Everything would be a mess and I'm sure we'd just run in circles.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : I guess I can understand that, even though it sounds like an excuse.
> 
> **Kise** : It's not an excuse!
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : If you say so.
> 
> **Kise** : I say so.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Alright, then...what would be the perfect circumstance for you to be with him--assuming by the time whatever happens, you're still in love with him?
> 
> **Kise** : Why would I even entertain such thoughts? There's no way the planets would align for that kind of development.

_Kiyoshi sat on the bar next to Kise. He picked up on of the completed deposit bags._

> **Kiyoshi** : Ah, your penmanship has gotten better.
> 
> **Kise** : Yeah! Soon I'll be able to do dishes for you.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : No can do. We have gas stoves and Kagami says your not allowed back there until--
> 
> **Kise** : He should mind his business.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : I know how overbearing he can be, but, in this, I'm on his side. And you know it's for the best until you can deal with fire without--
> 
> **Kise** : Freakin' out?
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : If you want to put it that way, fine. But you know he-- we're only doing this because we care about you.
> 
> **Kise** : Yeah, yeah...

_Kiyoshi leaned into Kise._

> **Kiyoshi** : Come on, humor me.

_Kise threw up his hands and sighed._

> **Kise** : Alright... It would have to be...

_He sighed again._

> **Kise** : It would have to be a situation where his feelings about relationships changed and not just with me. He would need to have a completely different set of ideas about what relationships are and what they aren't.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Why not just with you? Aren't you the only one that matters?
> 
> **Kise** : People think it's cute when someone makes that kind of exception for them, but it's not. I don't want to be at the center of his disillusionment. With the way he is, after the first fight he'll be pointing fingers and saying stupid stuff like he was right all along and I had him fooled and all kinds of nonsense because he never believed it in the first place.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : But you guys do nothing _but_ fight.
> 
> **Kise** : Don't remind me. Anyway, I don't want those fingers pointing at me. If we try and it doesn't work out; I need him to be able to understand that we weren't compatible in that way and that it has nothing to do with the concept of relationships as a whole. I just need that to not be a crutch forgotten in the corner of his mind but close enough for him to grab and brandish at me or anyone when he remembers and sees fit. Then, and only then, would I put any stake in the words "I love you" or "I want to be with you" coming from him.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Looks like you've done more than "entertain such thoughts."
> 
> **Kise** : Oh, shut up.

_Kiyoshi laughed._

> **Kise** : So...were you...serious?

_Kiyoshi, still leaning on Kise, looked up at him._

> **Kiyoshi** : Eh? What does it matter? You already turned me down.

_Kise looked down at Kiyoshi suspiciously._

## Maneuvers in the Dark

_It had been about an hour since Kasamatsu's farewell had wound down; Kise stayed behind to help clean up the bar. While cleaning the taps, Kiyoshi looked down at Kise who had traded tasks with Kagami and was squatting as he checked the bar supplies to see what needed to be refilled._

> **Kiyoshi** : Why don't you stay tonight-- today and I can take you home to pick up your stuff after the 2nd shift comes in?

_Kagami stopped sweeping._

> **Kagami** : Pick up what stuff?

_Kiyoshi looked up._

> **Kiyoshi** : Kasamatsu is going on tour, right? So, Kise needs a place to crash for the rest of his stay. He's staying with me.

_Kagami started towards the bar, moving tables out of his way as if he was going to jump over the bar a deliver a beat down, but then he stopped abruptly--catching himself. He pulled out the nearest chair, sat in it, and sighed. Kiyoshi looked on, thoroughly amused. Meanwhile, Kise was frozen at Kiyoshi's feet, worried for all the noise. He slowly rose and leaned against the bar._

> **Kise** : Are you okay with that?

_Kiyoshi tilted his head towards Kagami in interest._

> **Kiyoshi** : Not like I need your permission, but...are you?

_Kagami stared at the floor._

> **Kagami** : It has nothing to do with me, I won't even be here.

* * *

_Kiyoshi only slept about four hours because he had a lot to do before he opened the bar. Kagami was flying out, so Mitobe was taking over the night shifts. Kiyoshi wasn't usually one to wait until the last minute for things, but his aim for the day was all about timing and he didn't know that things would work until the night before. He did Kagami a favor one time and that turned into him always handling his flight plans and accommodations, but that was totally to his benefit now. One part of his plan was set, but it wouldn't mean much if the detail he was sorting out now fell through. Kiyoshi sent a quick text and then pulled his laptop from the foot of the bed, waking it in the process. He already had the page he needed up from when he checked the night before. A quick glance at his task bar told him he had less than an hour until he had to open._

* * *

_Kise woke up just after three in the afternoon with a splitting headache. It didn't help that it felt like gravity was doing its best to keep him flat on his back. After he left the hospital and rehab, something about sleeping on beds too high off the floor did not agree with him. He struggled to sit up when he heard a knock on the door. It proved to be futile, so he gave up._

> **Kise** : Come in...

_Kise's voice was week and his mouth tasted like ass and not the good kind._

> **Kiyoshi** : How's your head?
> 
> **Kise** : Nothing that some more sleep won't cure.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : I'll be leaving to take Kagami to the airport around five. Since Kasamatsu's place is on the way, I figured we could swing by and pick up your stuff.
> 
> **Kise** : What time is it now?

_Kiyoshi looked at his phone and smiled when he saw a response to his text._

> **Kiyoshi** : 3:10.
> 
> **Kise** : I'm hungry.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Go upstairs and tell Kagami to cook you something.

_Kise sat up quickly and was soon reminded of why he was still laying down._

> **Kise** : WhaaaAAhshit!
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : You're hungry. He cooks. Hurry up so he won't run out of time to clean up afterwards.
> 
> **Kise** : What about Mitobe-san?
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : I already told him not to cook for you.
> 
> **Kise** : Why?!

_Kise's head was spinning._

> **Kiyoshi** : His door's open. Just go in. It's not like he's gonna to turn you away.

_Kise fell back on the bed with a grunt._

* * *

_Twenty minutes later, Kise made his way up to the third floor, the aroma of fried meat guiding him. He knocked on the open door._

> **Kagami** : Come in.

_Kagami flipped an egg white omelette and looked towards the door. He could only see Kise's right arm from where he stood, but he could tell Kise was fidgeting._

> **Kagami** : Have a seat at the counter.

_It was the first time Kise had been in Kagami's place. To his left there was a door that opened to an office where one wall was covered top to bottom in individual shelves displaying sneakers. He did remember a sneaker wall, but he'd never been in here before, so he assumed what he remembered was from LA. Straight ahead was a hallway that seemed to go the remaining length of the place with a sideboard against the right wall and a door just beyond that. On his right was the living room which he only caught a glimpse of as he walked through it to get to the quick service-style counter that opened to the kitchen. Kise settled himself on the first stool._

> **Kagami** : What do you want to drink?
> 
> **Kise** : Huh?
> 
> **Kagami** : Drink, what do you want?
> 
> **Kise** : Oh, water is fine.

_Kise took the glass of ice water that was handed to him. The egg white omelette Kagami placed on the counter sent wafts of savory mushrooms and chives to tickle Kise's nostrils and his memories. Kise looked up to see Kagami's face, but he'd already turned away._

> **Kise** : Was this for you?
> 
> **Kagami** : I don't eat egg white omelettes.
> 
> **Kise** : But I just got here, so...how--
> 
> **Kagami** : The room you slept in is right under my office and I could hear you guys through the vent.

_Kise wasn't sure if he was embarrassed or what. He hated how sweet and attentive Kagami could be. It was things like this that always left him confused and made it difficult for him to let go. It was like this when he was still in rehab, but at the same time, he had felt suffocated by the hollowness that resonated in Kagami's presence. Once he left rehab, that feeling began to fade; there was a disarming comfortableness about being with Kagami in the place he called home. Eventually the hollowness completely gave way to an attraction that felt both familiar and new. Then it all went downhill from there. But, by some miracle, there was still something between them. Neither one of them seemed to want to let go, and there in lied the struggle._

> **Kise** : T-Thank you.

_Before digging into his own plate, which looked nothing like Kise's with it's mile-high pile of fries smothered in onions and peppers and cheese, Kagami topped Kise's omelette with bacon and sausage and set two small bowls next to his plate. Kise looked up._

> **Kise** : Gorgonzola and...?
> 
> **Kagami** : Crème fraîche.
> 
> **Kise** : ...
> 
> **Kagami** : You like it.

_Kise dug in, all the while overwhelmed by an uncertain sense of nostalgia. He'd eaten stuff from the bar's kitchen, but this was the first time he'd eaten Kagami's cooking made just for him. He didn't realize how much he missed it or rather, that he was missing anything at all._

> **Kise** : Oh! God! This is so good! If only sex could be like this!

_Kagami paused mid-forkful. Kise did a double take and then realized what he said._

> **Kise** : Oh...sorry...

_His remorse lasted all of three seconds and then the giggles started, but they quickly turned into cackle-like squeals. Kagami just smiled and ate. He didn't want to ruin the moment by speaking. So nostalgic. Kise's laugh started to peter out as he tried to talk._

> **Kise** : Honestly, I wouldn't even know.

_His tone suddenly sobered._

> **Kise** : I can't remember the last time I had sex.

_Kagami choked on an onion. Kise jumped up and set to rubbing and patting Kagami's back._

> **Kise** : I'm sorry! Are you okay?!

_Kagami coughed and pounded his chest. His head nodded a bit. Kise, unfiltered; this was a familiar moment as well. Except for Kise's questionable moans, the remainder of the meal passed in relative silence. Could it be this easy? Could they just be in each other's presence? Could he just knock down the wall he'd been slowly building? Was this how it used to be? Kise wished he knew._

_Kagami finished quickly and started to clean up, but Kise told him that he would take care of it. With that off his plate, Kagami went to check over his luggage once more. With his belly full, his headache gone and the dishes done, Kise sat back on the stool, but this time he faced the living room. Since the stairs wound left all the way up, Kise wasn't sure which way Kagami's living room windows faced, but if it he couldn't see the sun, then, they must face east, meaning that Kagami's bedroom's windows faced west and overlooked the street, and thus had a great view of Tokyo Bay...and the sunset. He wanted to see it. Kise got up and headed for Kagami's room but stopped at the sound of Kagami's voice._

> **Kagami** : Kiyoshi say he'll be ready to go in about 10 minutes.
> 
> **Kise** : Uh...okay.
> 
> **Kagami** : You can go on ahead. Tell him I'll be down in a minute.
> 
> **Kise** : O-Okay.

_Kise about-faced, disappointed, but told himself that there would be other times and other sunsets. He stood at the doorway, ready to go down, but he couldn't move. Would there be other times? In that instant, Kise regretted all the time he wasted not talking to Kagami, not trying to understand him, and not trying to work things out. They were both at fault, but he did them no favors by taking his frustration with himself out on Kagami. But now Kagami was leaving. Kise knew it was only for a few weeks, but something made him feel like it was too much time, enough time for Kagami to forget him. He didn't want to go down yet. He just wanted a few more moments with him._

_Kagami sat on the foot of his bed, doubled over with his head in his hands. He'd already gone over it a thousand times in the last 20 minutes, but he couldn't stop himself from running through it again:_ It was all normal, right? The food was good. Kise laughed. I didn't say anything stupid. He didn't get mad at me.

_It felt like old times and that was what worried Kagami the most. He didn't want to know that comfortable feeling again if it was just going to disappear again. If Kise was just going to disappear again. He still had no guarantee that he wouldn't. He heard his name being called, but it sounded so far away. Over and over he thought about it, and each time he tried to forget it. Right in the middle of it he heard a yell that snapped him out of his daze. He looked to his left where he felt something on his shoulder. A hand. he followed it up and saw Kise's face--he looked concerned._

> **Kise** : Kagami, are you okay?

_Kagami looked around._

> **Kagami** : What was that yell?
> 
> **Kise** : ...That was you.
> 
> **Kagami** : Oh?
> 
> **Kise** : Yeah. Are you okay?
> 
> **Kagami** : ...Uh, yeah.

_He stood up._

> **Kagami** : I'm, uh, good. I thought you went down.
> 
> **Kise** : I was about to, but I came back to ask if you needed help with your bags.
> 
> **Kagami** : Oh, no.

_He pointed to the two bags sitting under his window._

> **Kagami** : Just those.

_Kise walked over to pick up one and caught a view of the sun, still relatively high in the sky, but definitely on its way down. He peeked through the blinds._

> **Kise** : Oh! This view is so pretty!

_Kagami stepped behind Kise to reach the blinds' pull to raise them. At first Kise was in awe at the full, unobstructed view of the bay, but then he realized Kagami was standing right behind him. It took everything he had to not make it weird. He slowly released the breath he was holding and just tried to enjoy the moment. It seemed that they both enjoyed it for a little too long. First Kagami's phone buzzed and then Kise's._

> **Kise** : I guess we should go.

_Kise handed Kagami one of the bags._

> **Kagami** : ...Yeah.

* * *

> **Kise** : Kobori-senpai, where are you going?

_Kobori turned to look at Kise who was in the back seat next to Kagami._

> **Kobori** : I'm just a long for the ride. You know, you can drop the "senpai".
> 
> **Kise** : Oh, don't tell me that. I have a hard enough time remembering names as it is, please don't ask me to change what I do remember.
> 
> **Kobori** : Oh, well, carry on.

_Kiyoshi sat in the driver's seat and turned the ignition._

> **Kiyoshi** : Seat belts. You got everything?
> 
> **Kagami** : Yeah, I'm good. You have my reservation code?
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Yeah, I'll text it to you in a minute.

_When they pulled up to Kasamatsu's place, Kise got out and told them it would probably be two trips, but that he'd be quick about it. Kobori offered to help._

> **Kagami** : Why do you keep lookin' at me in the rear-view?
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : If you weren't looking at me, you wouldn't know, so why are _you_?
> 
> **Kagami** : Because you're up to something.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Am I?
> 
> **Kagami** : Since last night y--

_Kagami held his tongue when Kobori knocked on the back door for Kiyoshi to unlock it._

> **Kiyoshi** : You got every thing?
> 
> **Kise** : Yeah, thanks.

_Only 15 minutes into the drive and Kise was knocked out. Kiyoshi saw the next turn as an opportunity to be a little aggressive with the wheel and Kise ended up leaning against Kagami, who was also dozing. Kobori stifled a laugh. Later, Kise woke up to find Kagami leaning against him._

> **Kise** : How far?
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : About five minutes. Wake him up.

_Kise ran his fingers through Kagami's hair a few times before letting them trail down to his ear. He really hated himself in that moment; he was going to miss him. He tugged on Kagami's earlobe._

> **Kise** : Hey, wake up.

_Kagami opened his eyes and pushed himself up straight when he realized that he had been sleeping on Kise._

> **Kagami** : Oh, sorry about that.

_Kise looked out the window, hoping to hide his blush._

> **Kise** : It's cool.
> 
> **Kagami** : My code?
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Oh yeah. I'll send it to you as soon as we pull up.

_Kagami looked at Kiyoshi in the rear-view._

> **Kagami** : ...Alright.

_They pulled up to the section of the walk designated for unloading. Kiyoshi pulled his phone off the dash cradle and tapped and swiped away. Kise looked at his phone._

> **Kise** : Kiyoshi-san, I think you just sent the code to me.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Oh, did I? Sorry about that, let me send it again.
> 
> **Kagami** : Got it.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Cool.

_He looked at Kobori and then looked into the rear-view._

> **Kiyoshi** : I talked to Alex on Monday, she said your place was cleaned last week and that your cable and stuff would be on by yesterday.

_Kise grabbed Kagami's arm._

> **Kise** : You're not staying with your parents?!

_Kagami  looked at Kise in mild shock; he didn't get why that was anything to get hype over._

> **Kagami** : Uh, no, my place is still there.
> 
> **Kise** : The-The place I stayed at?
> 
> **Kagami** : ...Yeah.
> 
> **Kise** : Oh... Well, that's...nice.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Yeah, why pay for accommodations when you don't have to?

_Kise remembered when Kiyoshi told him the same thing._

> **Kiyoshi** : Hey, I've got an idea.

_Kise and Kagami trained their eyes on the mirror._

> **Kiyoshi** : Since he seems interested, why don't you take Kise with you.
> 
> **Kagami** / **Kise** : What?!

_Kagami wasn't against it, but his flight was taking off in about an hour and..._

> **Kise** : That would have been nice, but there's no time and, I can't just impose like that and I'm still wearing my clothes from yesterday--I look gross!
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : I'm sure Kagami doesn't mind. Besides, going back might do you some good. Both of you.

_Kagami and Kise looked at each other for a split second._

> **Kagami** : ...Maybe next time, there's too much to do to make it happen now.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Well, I say, there's no time like the present.
> 
> **Kise** : I--I can't. It's-- There's just not enough time.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : You have a passport, right?
> 
> **Kise** : Yeah, but...
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : You're clothes are in the trunk, right?
> 
> **Kise** : Yeah, but...
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : You can stay with Kagami.

_Kiyoshi turned around to look at Kagami._

> **Kagami** : Well, yeah, but there's still no time to get a ticket for him. And there's no guarantee that I can change mine. And I don't like the idea of him travelling by himself.
> 
> **Kise** : What?! I'm not a child!
> 
> **Kagami** : No, but you get lost, all the the time. And...if I couldn't find you...

_Kagami trailed off as memories flooded his mind._

> **Kise** : ...
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Well, if that's the only thing left, then consider it done.
> 
> **Kise** / **Kagami** : What?
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : I've already sent your reservation codes to you.

_Kise looked at his phone and Kagami stared at Kiyoshi._

> **Kiyoshi** : I change your reservation this morning.

_Without waiting for their response, Kiyoshi tapped Kobori and they got out and went to the back to start unloading._

> **Kobori** : I didn't think you could pull it off.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Well, I had a few moments of doubt--I usually screw up in one way or another when it comes to this type of maneuvering, but they're so easy, that it just all kind of fell together.
> 
> **Kobori** : So, how is this supposed to help me out?
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : When they return all back in love--and they will--Kise's not going to want to go back to Kohama right away, so I'll offer him a position to fill in for Mitobe and that will take care of scheduling so that you guys can go on your astrophotography-whatever.
> 
> **Kobori** : So, this is you "working something out"?
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : I told you I would.

_Kobori looked at Kiyoshi._

> **Kobori** : You might be in the wrong profession.
> 
> **Kiyoshi** : Ha!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so this was supposed to be a three-volume story, but I got this far and felt like the next part needed to be in it's own volume. So, now it's four.
> 
> I'm going to convert this volume to prose before I start volume four.
> 
> I hope this was worth the wait.


End file.
